I came across this poem as I was reading a friend's blog this morning and it struck me hard... This past year (and still going) has been and is so much about trusting myself and trusting Jesus; about His faithfulness and me learning to be faithful; about healing and brokenness; about redemption and grace; about peace and joy; and wrapped up in all of that, its been about waiting... I've prayed word for word some of the lines in this poem - wishing for fast answers and quick fixes, for immediate gratification and for my heart not to be broken. And yet, the Lord has met me here - when my heart is broken He can speak and heal; when I'm tired and lacking faith, He covers me and my selfishness; when I'm frustrated and not at all patient, I can see His grace in this elaborate redemption adventure He has asked me to be apart of.
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...
and the Master so gently said,"Wait.""
Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.
My future and all to which I relate
hangs in the balance and you tell me to Wait?
"I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign.
Or even a 'no,' to which I'll resign.
You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
and grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?
"He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
you'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
when darkness and silence are all you can see.
You'd never experience the fullness of love
when the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of My comfort late into the night,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
but oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.
So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still "WAIT".
~Author Unknown
And so I wait.
I wait for God to continue pursuing my heart and revealing a little bit more about where He has called me; I wait and open my arms to the people that are in my life now, loving and crying and living and dreaming together; I wait and I pray for the faces that pass through my mind and dig deep into my heart; I wait and dream of possibilities and opportunities and adventures; I wait and I learn and seek knowledge and wisdom, I ask questions and dream; I wait and I rest, knowing that my life will not look like this much longer; I wait and learn patience and just a little bit more about relying on the Lord with all of me, instead of just a part; I wait and I pray for friends now and friends to be, for an abundance of grace and a mass of courage, for the adventure and plans that are unfolding, for God to be bigger than I could dream imagine and even bigger to even comprehend...
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