Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Ministry...

Watching this video, my heart stirs with this thought, this excitement, this revelation of how beautiful life is. I don't know any of the people in the video, but I know that our hearts all ache for the same thing - to be seen, to be desired, to be known deeply and still be pursued, to be loved completely.. This is why I am a Young Life leader - beacuse my soul has been captured in this beautiful, crazy thing called life by a Being that knows my inner most thoughts (the insecurities, the pain, the desires, the frustrations, etc.) and yet, somehow only by His grace... loves me still. I can't hold this joy in - this pressure, this burning desire, this passion, this reality of being caught up in love-  builds up and 'my cup overfloweth'...

Im not the 'typical Young Life leader', and I don't think I need to be.. Jesus puts in my lap these incredible people to love, live life alongside, cry with and laugh 'til my sides ache and my heart is full. But its not easy - midnight trips to the ER (no joke, when I walk in most of the nurses and dr.'s know my name!), messy cars, typically empty wallet...

But a more full, I could never have imagined - talking for hours under the stars about life, love, brokeness, boys, and Jesus; seeing the Lord provide for me in ways that literally make me speechless, and having moments that make my heart skip a beat...

Sitting under a sky full of shooting stars in British Columbia, BC; sea kyacking in miles deep water with seals; 600+ middle school kids having 'the time of their lives' dancing to an awful techno song; teenage girls and their babies being loved on maybe for the first time in their lives; my heart being redeemed somehow in the breaking off endless tile, painting over grafiti, mixing cement, and sweeping the floor of a community center in Costa Rica for Vida Joven; hiking to waterfalls in the jungle;  walking barefoot on a white gold beach with the chorus of waves thumping and monkeys talking as the midst from the light rain fall on my checks - knowing utter peace in that moment;  seeing kids stand up for Say So and feel the Lord and all His angels do a little dance up above; the sound of angels in the voices of work crew kids singing out into a brilliant clear night; handing the keys to a new home to a family in Puerto Penasco, Mexico and knowing the Lord and I both have tears of joy running down our faces; hundreds and hundreds of students from around Arizona going crazy with glowsticks; bonfires and rootbeer kegs, dance parties and neon tights, dodgeball with dozens of college students and snowball fights in the middle of our college campus, duct tape man, filling up car to overflowing with ballons, hikes and picnics and coffee dates; watching a golden sunset in fall from Mount Humphreys; climbing down inside the Grand Canyon in the dark to sit on a ledge and watching the pink and purple paint the sky to being the sunrise; watching girls discover the heart of Jesus, watch their souls stir to life as they catch glimpses of how utterly the Lord is in love with them...

Even as I write this, more and more moments are coming to my mind - memories that are apart of my soul. I think Henri Nouwen captures the jist of this - "ministry means the ongoing attempt to put one's own search for God, with all the moments of pain and joy, despair and hope, at the disposal of those who want to join this search but do not know how." This is what the Lord has called me to do. This is 'what I was made for', why 'my cup overfloweth' and why my soul dances...

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