Monday, February 14, 2011

Questions... And love.

What makes us who we are? Is it what others think of us? What we make of ourselves? Is it what we have inside and then through situations it is revealed? Are we a blank slate and then God fills it as we go through life?

What makes me who I am? How do you answer that question? Do you let others define who and what you are? Do you leave it all up to “chance”?

What gives us charcter? Personality. Morals and goals. And what we spend our time doing. What we have gone through and how that has changed us- for good or bad. How we treat others.

Im coming to realize more and more that I want Jesus to define me because when I look at myself I see all these things that I don’t like - selfishness, pride, stubborness. I want to be what He sees in me - I want to reflect His glory and love. Maybe it doesn’t matter so much how you start but where you end up…

Maybe the important question isn’t whether we decide or God choses us, but rather that we are chosing, each day, to walk in a relationship with him. Yes its hard, painful, confusing and honestly frustrating sometimes. But in all that, there is glory, there is an aboundance of love and an incrediblely beautiful story. So I am deciding to keep walking in this, to stick it out - cause when you fall in love with someone you make it work, you desire the other person so much in your life that you make adjustments for them and the relationship, you desire to spend the time and energy to bless the other person.

I guess this also translates into a romantic relationship/marriage; when both or either of you fall out of love or are struggling to love the other person, I think it becomes a decision instead of just a feeling to continue to love the other person, to rise above the pain and hurt and continue to work through it. Maybe one of the reasons why we have so many broken families from broken marriages (though this isn’t the reason for every case) is because they both fell out of love at the same time, one of them didn’t have a vision for the future, one of them couldn’t carry the love for them both for a while…

Maybe Im wrong and it sounds stupid… Watching my parents marriage I have seen alot of pain and misunderstandging, but also alot of redemption and love - not only from my father but from Jesus as well. From their relationship, I see alot that I don’t want in mine someday but some I do… My prayer for every marriage/relationship right now is that forgiveness and redemption would be evident. That Jesus would fill in all the gaps and imperfections and allow us to love each other in grace and hope and peace, that He would be glorified in them and that our relationships would reflect Jesus’ love for us…

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